Reflecting on the Semester

As the semester comes to a close, I am reflecting on what I’ve learned most about myself as a writer through JMC 406 and the work I’ve done in this class. On the first day of classes, I was overwhelmed by the amount of writing that would be required by this course, but I believe that the only way to get better at something is to do it consistently. Throughout this semester, I have grown as a writer and this class has become one of the most impactful courses I have taken.

Brainstorming

My ideas mostly originate from my passions. For my free blogs, most of the pieces were about what I care about or what I find interesting – the things that are most prevalent in my life. I wrote several blog posts about my closest relationships, which are my friends and family, because they are important to me and they are easy to write about because I feel so strongly about them. I also wrote a couple posts about soccer, which is by far the thing that has shaped me the most. I believe being a student athlete gives me a unique outlook on life and soccer has provided me with experiences that other college students do not get. Reading is also one of my favorite hobbies, so I wrote a couple posts about books I’ve read that have impacted me both recently and in the past. These ideas started from these passions, but grew into deeper reflections of what they mean to me or how I have been impacted by them as I continued to write.

Even for the assigned blog posts, my ideas were heavily influenced by my passions. The editorials I wrote about the University of Nebraska system’s budget crisis and the rise in detention facilities were both topics that had been on my mind and that I had been reading about in various news articles. When analyzing other editorials, columns or news articles, I wrote about pieces that I personally was interested in.

The Writers

As Dr. Hanson says, one of the most important aspects of this class is that it gets us reading the work of other writers. Before taking this class, the only one of these writers that I had heard of was David Carr. I had heard about his story before, but I had never read any of his work. Over the summer, I had developed an interest in memoirs. When learning about “The Night of the Gun” in class and reading the excerpt, I was both fascinated and impressed by Carr’s mix of personal narrative and reporting. I had never considered this strategy before, but after reading the excerpt from his memoir, I discovered his writing became infinitely more interesting and engaging because he proves that we all are unreliable narrators in our own lives. What I’ve learned from Carr is that reporting and narrative can go hand in hand, and that true journalism is the diligent pursuit of the truth, not what we know or wish was true.

Another writer who has greatly influenced my work is Art Cullen. Of all of the writers we read this semester, he is the most memorable when it comes to developing voice. I could read his work without a byline or in a different outlet than the Storm Lake Times and immediately know it was written by him. As I continue to write, I want to continue to develop my writer’s voice because voice is vital in getting the message across. Twenty different writers could write the same story, but the voice that readers connect to is the version of that story that is going to stick with them.

Writing Process

I love writing. It is probably one of the only ways that I truly feel like I can articulately express myself. But, sometimes the process or idea of writing is extremely daunting, especially when it is personal. Growing up, I found success in playing sports and getting good grades, which has ingrained in me this desire to want to be really good at everything I do. I want everything I write to be perfect, which is impossible when, as a college student, athlete, employee, friend, I have limited time to devote to these assignments. This class and the hefty amount of writing that we have to do each week has forced me to just write – work that is imperfect and mostly nothing special, but mine nonetheless. I’ve learned that writing, especially opinion writing, is not quite as daunting as it once seemed.

I did most of the writing for this class in two places: the seat of a charter bus on away trip for soccer and the desk in my room in my college rental house. The bus was by far the more challenging place to focus. I was constantly surrounded by chatter, sometimes quiet and sometimes booming. My headphones and noise cancellation technology saved me from both insanity and missing my deadlines. On the other hand, my room is the picture of tranquility. More often than not, I write with a candle burning and a blanket wrapped around my shoulders because my desk is right by a vent. It depends on how I’m feeling whether I listen to music or not while I write. If I feel the task is one that takes more focus and care, I don’t listen to music. When I know what I want to say or have more analytical assignments, then I’ll listen to some soft pop or indie rock music.

I find that I can work in either environment, but for more personal or opinion-based writing, a quiet and calm environment like my room works best.

Learning From My Classmates

Before this class, I had read many of my classmates’ work through The Antelope or from having been in classes with them before, but I loved getting to see a new side of them through these assignments. You can learn a lot about someone through their writing, both through their voice and the stories they tell. I learned something from reading each of my classmates’ work, but there are a couple of lessons that really stand out to me.

I learned a lot from Ally’s vulnerability in her writing. In several of her free blogs, she really opened up about her experiences, such regaining her love of running and developing her support system. I don’t talk with Ally very much, but I feel as if I know her because her personality and values really shine through on her blog. It takes a lot of courage to write so openly, and I think that is definitely something I tried to do more of throughout the semester and want to continue to grow in.

Josh’s writing was also really interesting to read each week. He has a very unique voice and style to his writing, which made some of his reflections extremely. His piece, “Autumn Grave“, is about going home for fall break and finding his neighborhood unrecognizable. Josh did a great job of establishing a sense of place in this piece, not just with his descriptions that built the setting, but the interactions he writes about gave us a little bit of insight into the people that once made up this community. The piece was nostalgic, but Josh seems to have written it with both peace and a hint of sadness. “Autumn Grave” and its sense of place has really stayed with me since reading it.

Challenges and Overcoming

Once I got over the intimidation of writing, the biggest challenge I faced this semester was finding time to dedicate to my writing. Between working, classes and all of my soccer-related activities, I feel like I was being pulled in a million different directions this semester. It seemed like I never had enough time to really dive as deep as I wanted to into some of these assignments. I am also someone who likes to do all of an assignment in one sitting, so learning to do the work when I could – even if that means pausing abruptly – was an obstacle that I had to overcome. Learning to take breaks (by choice or not) also helped me become a better writer because when I would return to the piece, I would have some new insights or changes to make that can only come from time away.

When my soccer season ended, I really tried to focus on my free blogs, exploring my voice and writing with some vulnerability like I have seen in the work of several of my classmates. This was around the time when we were assigned to write about one of our own stories. It took me over a week to decide what I was going to write about for this assignment because I saw an opportunity to explore one of my life experiences that has shaped me into who I am today. When I think of these experiences, the deaths of my loved ones immediately came to mind, but I knew that writing about them would be emotionally difficult in a way that I could overcome.

Ultimately, I decided to write about the passing of my childhood dog. This was by far my favorite thing that I have written this semester, and maybe in my entire college education. Not only was I able to play with structure and narrative, but the process of interviewing my family members (like Carr) really opened my eyes to the other sides of this story. I was so consumed by my own grief, both leading up to my dog’s death and in the aftermath, that I never really paid attention to how my family members were grieving too. I left for college a month after losing Puddy, and the separation allowed me to focus on adapting to my new life instead of my heartbreak. Since then, I hadn’t let myself feel the sadness of losing something so important to me for more than moments at a time. In writing this story, I was forced to confront some emotions that I had shut away. After interviewing my mom about this, I nearly gave up and chose a backup topic because it was so overwhelming to return to one of the most challenging times of my life. I’m glad I continued because I needed to write this assignment and doing so allowed me to grieve like I hadn’t let myself do before.

The End

I am sad that this class is coming to an end. I have rediscovered why I love writing so much, which is the importance of storytelling. We all have different opinions. It is easy for us to cling on to those opinions and shove aside anything that fails to align with our perspective. If we tell our stories and listen to the stories of others, we will find that we all have a greater capacity for empathy and understanding than we take advantage of. I have learned a lot about my classmates and from my classmates through reading their work.

I have discovered that my best work is created when I am honest and true to myself. My voice shines through when I don’t try to hide behind my work or suppress myself in fear of what others think. This class has helped me make progress on the journey of discovering who I am as a writer and feeling comfortable expressing what I have to say.

Another Year Passed

In a couple days, I will be turning 21 years old. Sometimes, I close my eyes and think How on Earth did I grow up so fast? It feels like just yesterday that I was a sassy little five-year-old who was learning to read and spent hours on end playing with Barbie’s in the basement. Now, I’m a junior in college that lives away from home and works to pay rent.

I have never really enjoyed my birthday. At a pretty early age, I realized that my birthday wasn’t just an occasion where you get to eat cake and open presents. Instead, it marks the passing of another year. I struggle to accept and adjust to change, the idea of getting older and the newness that accompanies it is terrifying.

This year will be the first time I won’t be able to spend the day with my twin sister, Ellie. We attend college three hours apart, as the semester is wraps up and with our birthday falling during school week, our schedules just don’t align to allow us to see each other.

Being a twin is an indescribable experience because it is all I’ve ever known. Growing up, we were inseparable: we did all the same activities and shared almost everything, including friends, toys and clothes. In all of my core memories throughout my childhood, she was right there by my side. She quite literally is my built-in best friend.

The first time we were separated was when we had different teachers in the first grade. After being in the same class for kindergarten, our parents thought they should try separating us into different classes. It was miserable. We only got to see each other during lunch and occasionally in passing throughout the day, but it didn’t seem like enough when we were used to spending every single moment together. By the end of the year we had adjusted, but we both insisted to be together again for the second grade.

As we grew up, we slowly became more independent. By the time we were in the fourth grade, we were comfortable with having different teachers and once we reached middle school, we only had one or two classes together. Yet, we were as close as ever.

When it became time to start making decisions about college, it was clear that we were looking for different things. I wanted to play soccer while Ellie wanted to play basketball. Ellie wanted to study nursing while I wanted to do something related to English or writing. Early in this process, we knew that we would be attending different colleges, not only because our goals weren’t aligned but because we both knew we needed to face the challenge of creating our own, separate lives.

During my first semester of college, I missed Ellie constantly. Because soccer season is in the fall, I wasn’t able to go home until Thanksgiving, and Ellie had her own time commitments that prevented her from being able to come visit me in Kearney more than once. It was the farthest we’ve ever physically been from each other and the longest period of time we’ve spent apart. During every facetime or phone call, I felt myself longing to be in her presence.

But as we settled into our own lives, it felt like we were growing apart. Her life was foreign to me – I barely knew any of her friends or what her routine was or even what her campus looked like. We tried to keep each other updated as much as possible, but there just a small disconnect from the distance between us.

I know that we will always be in each other’s lives and she will always be my best friend, but sometimes it makes me sad to think about how separate our lives have become. As our birthday approaches, I miss her more and more, but I know I’ll be able to see her soon.

“Spotlight” Film Reaction

This week in JMC 406, we watched the Oscar-winning movie “Spotlight”, which follows The Boston Globe’s Spotlight team in their investigation into the Catholic Church’s child molestation cover-up. The Globe won the 2003 Pulitzer Prize for their reporting on the systematic burying of the sexual abuse committed by at least 70 Catholic priests in Boston.

The film is a powerful depiction of how investigative journalism can hold not just individuals but powerful institutions accountable for its corruption and wrongdoing. Like “All the President’s Men”, this movie portrays the truth, grittiness and importance of the investigative reporting process. The Spotlight team had to work methodically and collaboratively to make this story come together and expose the decades of cover-up by one of the world’s most powerful and influential institutions.

One of the most interesting aspects of this story is how personal the scandal was to the reporters and the community. I can only imagine how heartbreaking it was for them to discover that the church they all grew up in had allowed this abuse to happen for so long, an element which was well-depicted in the movie. The outburst by Mark Ruffalo’s character when the story is delayed was extremely powerful and thought-provoking as a viewer. This story was so important, but it was also so delicate and if the Spotlight team didn’t report it right, it wouldn’t be successful in ending the systemic abuse by the Catholic Church.

Another scene that was particularly powerful was when Rachel McAdams character was interviewing one of the priests who was accused of molesting young boys. He confirmed that he had “fooled around” with the boys, but affirmed that he did not rape them. He reveals that he himself had been raped and therefore he knew that actions didn’t align with that act. That revelation and innocence which the priest displayed was an extremely compelling way to illustrate how systemic this abuse was. The priests didn’t always think that what they were doing was wrong because it was so ingrained into the institution.

This film had some of my favorite actors in it: Stanley Tucci, Mark Ruffalo and Michael Keaton. I think that the way “Spotlight” focuses on an ensemble of characters instead of just one of the reporters made this film more engaging. It depicted how it takes a team of journalists and editors, as well as the willingness of sources, to make these kinds of stories come together.

The displaying of all of the communities where similar priest abuse scandals have been discovered at the end of the film was influential. We are a smaller class, but I felt like all of the air was sucked out of the room when over 100 U.S. cities and international locations flashed across the screen. My hometown of Lincoln, Nebraska on that list. I have been lucky enough to not know anyone who had any connection to this abuse, but it was very nauseating to think about how close to home this scandal reaches. I could have walked by hundreds of survivors throughout the town and not have known that they were carrying this burden, which is really sad to think about.

My biggest takeaway from this movie is that it takes dedication and persistence to be an investigative journalist, and that honesty is more important than heroism. While the reporters uncover how numerous people in the community were complicit in covering up, Keaton’s character “Robby” acknowledges that the Globe themselves had the pieces to discover this scandal and failed to dedicate serious resources and attention to it. This profession isn’t glamorous and the trail of accountability can spread way deeper than we’d like to admit.

“All The President’s Men” Film Reaction

The week before Thanksgiving, we watched “All the President’s Men” in my JMC 406 class. The film is a biographical depiction of Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein’s reporting for the Washington Post of the 1972 Watergate burglary at the Democratic Party Headquarters.

Investigative journalism is the kind of reporting I aspire to do, and Woodward and Bernstein’s reporting on the Watergate break in is some of the most famous investigative work in journalism history. Along with the publishing of the Pentagon papers and the exposure of the U.S. government’s deception during the Vietnam War (as depicted in Steven Spielberg’s “The Post”), the Watergate scandal was one of the factors leading up to President Nixon’s resignation.

This was one of my favorite periods of history to learn about in high school, and was a time that really defined what is included in the freedom of the press. When I learned about Watergate in history classes, I taught the facts of what happened and how it led to Nixon’s resignation. But, it wasn’t until I had watched “The Post” and “All the President’s Men” that I saw this from the perspective of the journalists. There were so many people who were trying to shut down this story and refused to speak on the scandal. There was also a lot of pressure on the Washington Post to get this story right.

As seen in one of the scenes, Woodward and Bernstein take an early version of the story to the editors and it gets rejected because it wasn’t the right story. It took several more interviews and the tips from Deep Throat to get the story where it needed to be to have an effect.

Even in the end, the reporters didn’t get everything right. Bernstein misreported Hugh Sloan’s implication of Haldeman, which leads Sloan’s lawyer denying this confirmation and public skepticism. It would have been easy for the filmmakers to leave this part out and allow Woodward and Bernstein to remain undoubtedly heroic, but that is not the truth of what happened. They made mistakes, but they owned up to it and made sure their the follow-up reporting was verified and accurate.

As far as the filmmaking goes, I was captivated by the suspense. Unlike typical thrillers, the movie wasn’t necessarily action-packed. The intensity was created through compelling dialogue and engaging performances by Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman. While watching, I had a pit in my stomach as I wondered whether or not Woodward and Bernstein were going to get the story, even though I knew before watching how influential their reporting would be.

My biggest takeaway from “All the President’s Men” is that journalism is crucial and challenging. We need this kind of reporting to hold powerful people accountable and expose scandals or deception. In these kinds of investigations, there will be many people who won’t talk or who will stand in the way, but journalists must keep pushing and trying to new ways to get the information needed for these important stories.

Analyzing a Nebraska Examiner News Story

This article “White House intensifies push for mass deportation after National Guard shooting” published on Dec. 1 in the Nebraska Examiner, written by Ariana Figueroa and Ashley Murray of States Newsroom, discusses two of the most prevalent issues in the media: political violence and the immigration crackdown.

Last week, two members of the West Virginia National Guard were shot at the nation’s capital. One national guard died and other was left in critical condition. The accused shooter was found to be an Afghan immigrant who had been granted asylum earlier this year after working for a CIA counterterrorism operation in Afghanistan. This shooting is just the latest act of political violence, which is on the rise.

After the shooting, the Trump administration announced they will continue to limit both legal and illegal migration into the United States, and Secretary of State Marco Rubio directed U.S. embassies to stop approving visas for individuals with passports from Afghanistan. Figueroa and Murray also report on how the administration ended Temporary Protected Status for over 330,000 Haitian nationals on Wednesday, separate from the aftermath of the shooting.

The story does a great job of supporting its reporting with quotes from a press briefing by White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt, as well as reporting by other outlets including the New York Times and the Washington Post.

Although this story discusses some extremely complex and dividing issues, it is very well organized and digestible. The use of headings separates the story into the lede, reporting on the administration’s pauses on asylum, discussion of the Venezuelan boat strikes, and background on why the National Guard was stationed at the capital prior to the shooting.

While it is well reported and included because the information was provided by Leavitt at the same press briefing where she discussed the shooting, the information about the Venezuelan boat strikes seem out of place in the context of this story.

The background information is extremely helpful for readers who may not have been following the news about Trump’s National Guard mobilization since August, when 800 troops were ordered to the capital following the district’s crime emergency claims. This background important in understanding the context of shooting, and because as a result of the act, an additional 500 guard members were sent to Washington D.C. by the president.

Political violence is on the rise, with there being several recent attacks on public officials and specific government authorities. In 2025 alone, some examples are the assassination of Charlie Kirk, the arson attack on Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro’s home, a shooting at the CDC headquarters and the murder of Minnesota state representative Melissa Hortman and her husband in their home. These officials and facilities are targeted because of political beliefs or policies, and are a result from the increasingly polarized American society.

Likewise, immigration has been one of the biggest topics of this year after Trump’s series of executive orders in his mass deportation campaign began with the start of his term in January. Since then there have been innumerable raids by ICE throughout the country and hundreds of thousands of immigrants – both legal and illegal – have been deported.

This article is interesting because it connects two of the most prominent issues of our time. And in order to form opinions about these issues, one has to be educated on them and consume stories about them in reliable news sources like the Nebraska Examiner. Even though these issues are uncomfortable, it is important that we read about them doesn’t resolve them.

https://nebraskaexaminer.com/2025/12/01/repub/white-house-intensifies-push-for-mass-deportation-after-national-guard-shooting/

Pillsbury Thanksgiving Bake Off

My Thanksgivings have always been fairly quiet with loved ones gathered around the table and mountains of food to consume. I spend the holiday with my immediate family – my mom, dad and two sisters – as well as my maternal grandma, my aunt, her husband and their two daughters. I love our little celebration and I can’t imagine spending Thanksgiving any other way.

Every year, we gather around the table or huddle together on the couches to hear stories about the infamous Pillsbury Thanksgiving Bake Off.

The Pillsbury’s are on my mom’s side of the family. My great-grandma, whom I know as Granny, was one of twelve children. Every Thanksgiving, the Pillsbury siblings, along with their kids and grandkids, would gather in Keller, Texas to reunite and celebrate the holidays.

“There was just lots of food, people laughing, drinking, having a good time,” said my mom, Lia. “All kinds of shenanigans were going on.”

Lia spent her childhood driving six hours to Texas for Thanksgiving, where over 40 of her extended relatives would gather to celebrate. It is difficult to describe who fits where in the family tree because there were so many Pillsbury siblings.

“We were so far down the line that everybody was pretty much cousins, just at varying degrees,” Lia said.

While the adults drank and laughed, the kids would spend the entire day running around the property and creating chaos. The cousins would swim in the pool, go horseback riding, use the tractor as a hay rack ride, and pull practical jokes on each other.

“I don’t really remember much about Thanksgiving dinner,” Lia said. “That was just a minor part of the whole get together.”

Five of the female cousins, including Lia, were particularly close, with a three year age gap between the oldest and youngest. Together, they formed the Fat Girls of America club because they all liked to eat and the club would reconvene for big events where a major meal was involved. The girls would make t-shirts and wear matching outfits as they schemed to find some way of earning some extra spending money.

The family name, Pillsbury, inspired the girls’ Thanksgiving venture: a bake off. They charged family members to participate and the club would judge all of the baked goods to determine a winner. Every Thanksgiving, members of the family would bring cakes, cookies, pies and more to compete for the grand prize.

Cousin Johnny, one of Lia’s second cousins, got the girls ribbons that were awarded to the runners up and made a grand prize trophy that was passed through the family to the annual bake off winner.

The Pillsbury’s loved a good competition, and they weren’t afraid of causing drama or engaging in a little sabotage. Some cousins would try to buy store bought baked goods and enter them into the bake off as their own. Others would interfere with their competition’s dishes.

One year, Granny made her apple pie recipe that was the reigning champion of the bake off. When it was Granny’s turn to have her pie evaluated by the judges, they discovered nails sticking in the top of the flaky, golden crust.

Lia and the Fat Girls were in charge of the whole affair. They made up the rules as they went along and changed those rules to benefit themselves. The competition was often rigged to favor the family members they liked the most. Once all of the baked goods had been evaluated, they would gather everyone around and make a grand announcement of the winner.

“We were just sort of like the boss of the whole bake off and everything, like we thought we were really cool because we were in charge of it,” Lia said.

The Pillsbury Thanksgiving Bake Off went on for several years, promising chaos, adventure, and drama. As I hear these stories, I am reminded that Thanksgiving is not about the feast of food we eat or the fancy clothes that we wear, but rather a reason to spend time with the people we love and make memories that will be passed through generations to come.

Humans of Kearney

Carter Santos

“We went on a cruise that started in Galveston, Texas and ended in Mexico. We made multiple stops and excursions on the way down there. We went salt mining and riding buggies through just the ghetto part of Mexico. There was unlimited amounts of free pizza and ice cream on the ship. That Piano Man Greg, he played songs everyday, and he knew all of them. He played very well.”

“I went with my family, so my mom, step dad, half brother, stepbrother and three full siblings. We went for a week. I was 16, so this would have been seven years ago. I wasn’t old enough to get into the caliente club yet.”

“I got a kilo of salt for like a dollar. I used it all within a year because I made so much popcorn. I’m it got used for other things, too.”

“My brother and I were standing on the deck eating ice cream, and he took my ice cream out of my hand and threw it into the ocean. It was really sad because there were two ice cream machines – a good one and a bad one – and I found the good one and then it was gone.”

Longing for Cooler Weather

Fall is without a doubt my favorite season. Not only is soccer season in the fall, but the months of September, October and November are marked by trees turning amber and falling temperatures. There is no better feeling than stepping outside in the morning and feeling the crisp autumnal air awaken my skin.

By the end of August, I am ready to be rid of the summer heat. I get tired of feeling beads of sweat form on my forehead every time I step outside and the humidity that leaves me feeling like I could melt after just minutes of exposure.

My ideal day hovers between 40 to 50 degrees with a light breeze. I would like to seriously debate with myself whether I should wear a coat or not. Usually, I decide not to because I like feeling of my insides tingling from the cold air just before I start to shiver. Maybe it is just a figment of my imagination, but I feel like I can smell the cooler weather coming in each year – the same way the air smells like rain, it also smells like autumn.

We had this weather just a couple weeks ago, but now the weather has reverted back to the 70s.

With the holiday season waiting just around the corner, I’ve been longing for colder weather. It seems wrong to be putting up my Christmas tree when the weather is still warm enough for me to be wearing shorts and a t-shirt. I want to be able to wear my coziest sweatpants or my fuzziest sweaters as I sip hot chocolate or curl up by the fireplace.

My favorite winter memories are spent inside in the warmth, knowing the frigidly cold awaits us outside. On Thanksgiving, we play board games and stuff ourselves full of food before venturing out to scour the stores for holiday deals. On Christmas, we gather by the fire and take turns opening gifts from the people that mean the most to us. These moments just wouldn’t feel the same without cold weather.

Cooler weather is coming and there is still time before the holidays for the warm weather to disappear. I can’t wait.

Chanel Miller’s Memoir “Know My Name”

I know the name Brock Turner. The nation knows the name of the former Stanford swimmer who was suspected, charged, and then convicted of three sexual assault felonies. But very few know the name of his victim. After reading this memoir, I now know the name Chanel Miller.

I read Know My Name for my final paper in my victimology class. Normally, I can’t help myself and struggle to put down a book, but I took my time with this one. I divided the book into sections of two to three chapters and sat down once a week for a little over a month to read. Mostly, I wanted to consume this book thoroughly and give myself time to digest what Miller was writing about. I also knew that reading a book that was describing so vividly and descriptively someone’s experience with rape would be extremely emotionally challenging.

I could discuss several different components of the book, such as Miller’s writing or her experience with the criminal justice system, but I think what struck me most was how she was impacted by the media coverage.

It isn’t unusual for the criminal justice system to focus on the offender. After all, its primary purpose is to hold people accountable for violating the law. Unfortunately, one of the things that has been most emphasized in my victimology class is that the victim often struggles to find a role in the criminal justice system. Miller certainly experienced this when the proceedings focused more on the fact that the offender was a promising young athlete for one of the most prominent educational institutions in the country at the time of the offense. This undermined and invalidated Miller’s identity as a victim and the traumatic experience of rape.

Because of Turner’s status and Stanford’s reputation, this case was highly publicized. I remember reading about it on several news outlets, along with the rest of the world. This publicity brought Miller into the spotlight. Her anonymity was maintained throughout the case, but “Emily Doe” or the “intoxicated young woman” were widely speculated about.

Miller blacked out the night that she was raped. She did not remember meeting Turner, nor does she have any memory of the assault. Several outlets and comments blamed her for her sexual assault because she had been under the influence of alcohol, which further reduced Miller’s experience. Not only is the experience of sexual assault extremely traumatic and hard to come to terms with as a victim, but it was inescapable because it was so prevalent in the media. The negative comments made Miller feel like she had to hide – that no one would believe her if she came forward and shared her experience.

If not for two witnesses who saw her unconscious on the ground and Turner on top of her, the offender would have never been identified and Miller would be lacking key testimony in her case against him. More than anything, these witnesses are a reminder to never stand by and let something happen that you think is wrong. Who knows how far things would have gone if they had not intervened. They could have even saved Miller’s life through their actions.

Chanel Miller’s memoir was nothing short of gut-wrenching. It is terrible to think that people out there are capable of committing these acts, even more so that they can be unwilling to accept responsibility for their actions. It is also unsettling to think that victims of crime, especially violent crime, are such a small part of the criminal justice process when it is their lives that have been so deeply and traumatically uprooted by their victimization.

I am glad that I now know the name Chanel Miller. I hope victims of sexual violence read this book and hear her story, and that more victims are empowered to come forward and share their own experiences. These offenders need to be held accountable, but that can’t happen unless victims come forward like Miller.

Finding Her Voice

Haley Chitwood, graduate assistant women’s soccer coach at the University of Nebraska at Kearney, sitting at her desk in Cope Stadium.

Haley Chitwood arrived at the University of Nebraska at Kearney for her second graduate assistant position in August. Since then, she’s strived to find her coaching voice in a field dominated by men. 

Chitwood is the only female coach on the women’s soccer staff. She is even the only female coach in Cope Stadium, which is home to both the football and women’s soccer programs. 

“I want female coaches to have more of a voice because I feel like they really don’t and they’re often overlooked,” Chitwood said. 

Chitwood is early in her coaching career and often feels like fresh meat because of her youth and gender. As a graduate assistant at Upper Iowa University, Chitwood felt her opinions were brushed aside by the head coach.  

“I hate that I always have to validate that I know what I’m talking about, and I have to validate that I know what I’m doing,” she said.  

Knowing she will always be outnumbered by men, Chitwood has sought a balance between wanting to be taken seriously as a woman by her peers and wanting them to view her as one of them. She’s found that balance at UNK, working with head coach Rob Breton and assistant coach Antonio Gracia.

Despite working on a coaching staff that respects her opinions and values her insight, Chitwood still found herself in situations where she feels slighted as a woman. 

“Other coaches, even though I’m wearing a polo, won’t come over to and introduce themselves because they don’t think I’m a coach,” Chitwood said. “They instantly think I’m a player, and I know I look young, but I’m wearing the same shirt as Rob.” 

Minutes before kickoff of their last regular season game, she watched the referees walk across the field. Recognizing a male referee that officiated their previous game and remembering her discontent with several of his decisions, she said “Oh, hell no.” 

He heard this utterance and as she was walking away, he said, “That’s a feisty little one.” 

Instantly, she thought the referee wouldn’t have made that remark if she was a male coach.  

In the moments where she feels belittled or overlooked, she tries to embody her mother, who showed her it is possible for women to climb to the top of predominantly male fields.

After tearing her ACL, MCL, PCL, meniscus and hamstring in one injury, Michelle Chitwood was forced to retire from collegiate soccer and ended up leaving school. Now, she is the head of maintenance in a department where she is the only female.

“She doesn’t care what feathers she ruffles because she goes, ‘If I was a man, would you care what I’d be saying?’” she said.

Inspired by her mother’s journey, Chitwood wants to be seen for who she is and her qualifications instead of having to constantly make her presence known.

Her playing career has helped her form a foundational knowledge of soccer and shaped her image of the kind of coach she wants to be. Growing up, she played for Palo Alto Soccer Club in California. Chitwood said she didn’t have the best experience with her club coach.  

“I think, mean, is a nice word to use,” she said. “He would, like, yell at us, and get in our faces.” 

Chitwood felt disrespected by her coach’s yelling. She knew that her coach cared, but he was more focused on personal success than the individual success of his players or the team. 

“You don’t have to yell to get your point across,” she said. “I feel like that’s a really big thing, especially now in the women’s game. You can get on someone without being disrespectful.” 

She began her six years of collegiate soccer at the NCAA Division I level for the University of Nevada Las Vegas before transferring to Las Positas College. Chitwood completed the last three years of her playing career at Ottawa University Arizona in the NAIA. 

In college, she was faced with an entirely new level of apathy from her first coach, whose priorities were winning games and keeping his job. He didn’t mind demeaning his players to achieve these goals.  

When her freshman year was over, she immediately transferred out of UNLV.  

“The way he treated his athletes really taught me that I wanted to be a coach,” Chitwood said. 

Through her interactions with players, Chitwood hopes to educate the next generation of players and break the cycle of degradation in women’s sports.  

“At the end of the day, we’re all people,” she said. “Yes, I’m your coach, but I’m going to treat you like a person before I’m going to treat you like just a player.”